Hello friend.
I've noticed a change in myself. I've tried to deny this change for a while, and I kind of pushed this change aside as if it wasn't true. But it is and it's time for me to accept it.
I'm just not as enamored by YouTube as I used to be. There, I said it.
I tried to be. I really did. I stuck through VEDA and was quite proud of some of the videos that I created. It just felt like a bit of a chore. When it came time to continue afterwards, there were so many other things I would have rather been doing.
I'm very happy with the things that I've been able to experience that wouldn't have been possible without YouTube and I'm very happy with the friendships that I've made and the people that I've gotten to spend time with because of my involvement with the site. I just don't enjoy the act of filming, editing, and uploading anymore. I find that the points that I want to get across aren't as strong as they would be if I could just sit and write and edit. I prefer words, and despite what you may think, I believe that YouTube compromises words. A message isn't entirely about the words, it's about the delivery and the framing and the editing and the outfit you're wearing. I don't want my messages to be watered down. I don't want the importance of what I am saying to be overshadowed by the fact that I'm not wearing makeup (because I never wear makeup). There have been so many things that I wanted to create videos about but I haven't because it wouldn't be strong enough. It wouldn't seem important enough. Some people can do that, and good for them. But it's not for me. I want them to be more true to myself and how I want to express myself. I want to use my time more carefully. I'd rather be constructing thought provoking pieces than rambling in front of a camera just for the message to get lost in translation.
I believe that the pen is mightier than the sword, and on YouTube I have neither.
I'm not saying that I'm completely done with YouTube. I don't think that I ever could be. It's been a very large part of my life for a decent amount of time now. I do think that it is a great medium for the people who really enjoy putting that kind of content out there. It is definitely a good medium for music sharing, and as I continue writing and composing music, YouTube will be a great outlet for such projects.
YouTube just can't be a priority for me any more. I'd rather focus on writing, which I love, and reading, to become a better writer. I don't know why it took me so long to realize this. I sure am glad that I did, though.
Currently playing on my iPod: How Long Will I Love You - Jon Boden, Sam Sweeney and Ben Coleman
This song is featured in the film About Time, which is one of my all-time favorite films. The song is beautiful, catchy and has fabulous movement and emotion, especially this version of it. I can't imagine anyone being disappointed after giving it a listen.
