like a pill

Hello friend.

I'm currently in the car on the way to a restaurant with my parents. We're going to meet up with my aunt uncle and cousin for my aunt's birthday. I just took some oxycodone because I woke up in excruciating pain. I also took some ibuprofen since I'm swollen like a chipmunk stocking up for winter.
Is it incredibly vain of me for not wanting to go anywhere in public looking like this?

I'm not looking forward to sing high again today. I'm looking forward to not being pain, but at this point I can't imagine my mouth ever being normal again.
Okay that was overly dramatic. But really, it's a pain in the ass. I'm so sick of being in pain, of being high, of not being full, not being able to sing, not being able to focus, being swollen, etc. etc.
Sorry. I was complaining like this to my friend J-Pop last night. His name isn't actually J-Pop. It's James. I have never actually called him that. He was introduced to me as J-Pop so that is his name as far as I am concerned.
Anyhow, I was complaining to him last night. It was the only conversation I could stay focused on. I went all day yesterday trying to talk to people but I couldn't focus.
Yesterday was truly an awful day.

The oxycodone is starting to take effect now. I'm both thankful and resentful for it. I'm losing my ability to focus, therefore losing interest in this blog post. I'm also feeling a bit less sore, thank God!
Oh well. Sorry for another ridiculous post making pretty much no sense, I'm sure.

Currently playing on my iPod: Whatever my parents are playing in the car.
I don't really care at the moment. Music is more enjoyable when you can lose yourself in it, which I just can't do. I can't focus on a song enough to lose myself in it. I can't sing along. I can't properly appreciate it. It's such a shame. Just another thing I hate about being high.

i get high with a little help from my friends

Hello friend.

I've spent today high off my ass.

I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday. It was my first surgery ever. I was terrified. I couldn't sleep the night before so I Skype-called George and fell asleep listening to him talk about Doctor Who with his sexy accent.

When I got to the office the next morning, they brought me straight into the room and started hooking me up to monitors. I started to freak out and cry. I asked my mom to come in with me because I was scared. She was laughing at me for crying. I yelled at her to either be supportive or leave. My mother has a history of making fun of me when I'm uncomfortable. Eventually the surgeon came in and sent her away. They gave me laughing gas to calm me down and then the anesthesia and I was gone. I woke up once during the procedure, to which they gave me more anesthesia. They next time I woke up they were taking the IV out of my arm.

I was very uncomfortable and in a decent amount of pain. Mom went to get a shot that she needed and left me in the car. I was miserable, and pissed. She brought me home and had to go back out to get my pain killers. It was unbearable.

Eventually I got some drugs to take the edge off the pain and my friend Rachel came over. She took care of me. She made me soup and brought me my medications and bought me a milkshake. We vegged all day. Did I mention she got her wisdom teeth out on Wednesday? No, I didn't. Well she did, and she was wonderful.

Today, however, sucked. Since I had some strong pain yesterday, the pain meds just took care of that. They didn't make me loopy or high or anything. Since today I just felt sore, they took care of the soreness and made me high. At first it was fun. I realized I was spacing and felt a bit light headed and thought it was pretty cool, seeing as I've never been high before.

But it got old. Quickly. I felt useless. Unable to focus on anything. I tried blogging tons of times earlier today and just couldn't focus my thoughts. I tried writing a song, watching television, watching youtube, anything. I couldn't even stay focused long enough to surf tumblr.

I felt so useless today. So incredibly useless. How the hell do stoners do it?! Why would anyone ever choose to fill their days with nothingness?

Is it awful that I can't even stay focused on this blog post any longer? I'm still a bit high. I took one more pill so I could fall asleep and not be in pain. I hate it. I'm a bit tired, but I know if I were to fall asleep it would just be the drugged up stupor I've been in all day where I can hear everything around me but just can't move my body. It sucks so much.

Sorry if this post is so incredibly incoherent and is laden with awful use of the English language. I can't really help it. I don't have the attention span to go back and read it right now. I'm sure I'll read it at some point tomorrow and think it's incredibly ridiculous. Whatever. I don't even care right now. I just wanted to finish this post, which I did even if it's shit.

Currently playing on my iPod: nothing...

Yeah. I've been that miserable today.

I dont do well being useless.