I cried myself to sleep last night.
You know that feeling when you just need something? Well, you don't actually need something. I mean, you're not going to die without it. It's not like your body is slowly dying and you need medicine. It's not like you are physically debilitated in any way.
But emotionally... that's another story.
You just feel so torn up without it. It's this pain and agony that eat away at you. A longing that you just cannot control. A craving that you cannot satiate.
That's almost worse though, isn't it? Something that puts you into so much pain but will never actually kill you.
I'm sure I'll be alright. I just sometimes get overwhelmingly sad still. I think I always will have that possibility. I don't think there's a way to escape it sometimes.
Last night was an outlier. It was bad. I let dark thoughts take over. Dark untrue thoughts. I hate that I did that. I really am sure that this will all be alright. I know that my sadness is only temporary. I know how this story is going to end, and I love it. I look forward to it. I dream about it and smile at the thought. It's just a matter of getting there.
Currently playing on my iPod: Mumford & Sons
Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you. It will set you free.
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